By Anil Arora 2011…

For a long time now there has been a taboo surrounding the issue of seeking help for emotional issues. Some think it’s a sign of weakness, others worry about what people may think and, some worry that if they seek help there must be something drastically wrong. Is this worry engrained in our culture or is there a different reason for our fear?

Another angle that is commonly overlooked in the concern for seeking help is the fear of change. We are creatures of habit and most of the time we don’t want to look at ourselves in the mirror because we may need to adjust parts of it. It’s understandable that if one is living a life and is relatively happy apart from a small aspect that causes them anxiety, stress or even panic for short periods, people learn to incorporate it and manage it to some degree. When it becomes too much and starts to affect other aspects of their life, it is usually at that time that people look for answers.

Most therapists will tell you that the majority of clients only come to them as a last resort. It’s at this critical point that people look inside themselves and wonder why this is happening to them.  With some investigation/questioning/discussion, however, it becomes clear that the issue has been apparent for some time but defenses have been keeping it at bay and so the individual has avoided facing up to their issue. Yes, it can be a difficult thing to do, to talk to a strange person who you have never had any dealings with previously, to then speak to them about your life in such a way that most people never do with anyone else. There is something very rewarding to be able to speak openly not holding anything back, clients usually describe this feeling as “an emptying of jumbled up thinking” which is a therapeutic process. Trust is built within the relationship.  More and more is openly shared and examined. Techniques are learned in order to deal with the issue, the client begins to feel that someone can help them and, in turn, the client’s world begins to gradually change. Most clients, on completion of therapy, feel that they have achieved and developed in many ways and even state that they would suggest it to other people who are struggling with life issues.

Are we moving in a new direction? One where society is realizing that we all, at some point in our lives, need someone that will listen and not judge or pressure us; someone who will be patient and empathic; someone who will guide us to find our own positive path? More importantly, before any of this can begin, the person must want to make changes.